I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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