They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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