Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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