I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
this boner is exhausting
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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