Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
