I cockslap morals
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
