Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
