Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
