After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can't put those talents on a resume
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
