I'm eating all of the evidence.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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