porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
