If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
