i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
