so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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