you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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