I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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