Me. At least after what I've been through.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
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Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
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The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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