how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
