Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
