i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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