Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
