I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize