due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
