How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
