I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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