Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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