Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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