So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
