Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
