Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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