I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
