We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
