i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
