i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
