You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
