Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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