I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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