So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize