Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
