First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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