I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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