so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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