If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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