we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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