I can't breathe out the right side of my face
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
