I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
stop calling my apartment porn island.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
