oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just found a bag of teeth...
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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