The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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