I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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