JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
