I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Randomize
