sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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