oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
