do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
