it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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