my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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