Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
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I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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