Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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