I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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